Sam’s poorly written step by step guide to eating your lady’s sweet meats.
Step 1. In it to win it.
Have you ever gotten head from a girl who clearly enjoys getting you off? I mean, it’s like she was born for the single purpose of making you explode? It was pretty good right? The way she moaned into you like you were her favorite ice cream? Well you do the same. I mean, if you go down there and you flinch at the smell, or the taste, or the hair she missed, she’s gonna notice! Mood is important. You just shot mood in the face. It’s gone now. You can try to revive him but he’s on his way to the morgue along with that anal she promised you. Sorry for your loss friend. It happens to the best of us. Sometimes. Not after you’ve read this guide though. Never again.
Step 2. Make the honey drip.
No one likes a dry pussy. You ever done the cinnamon challenge? Yeah. If you go straight down there without kissing her and tasting every inch of her body and making her feel safe, happy, and wanted, i’ll back hand you and make you start over. Do every little thing you can to turn her on. Kiss her like she’s 8 months pregnant and you’re about to go to war. Touch her like she’s the last woman you’ll ever explore. The gentle running of finger tips is maddeningly teasing. Get closer, and closer, closer.. then go off in another direction. Inner thighs and stomach. Neck. Nipples. Ass. Massage her damn feet if she likes that. You have 10 little weapons of mass destruction attached to those stumps on the end of your arms, don’t act like your wearing baseball mitts. Use them. Don’t even touch her pussy yet. You’re still watching the trailers before the blockbuster you paid for. Run your finger through her lips. Yep. Wet. Now lick it clean in front of her. Share it with her. Boom. You just put the thought in her head, “Hey he really likes how i taste!” and this arouses her even more.
Step 3. ALL the way down.
Kiss down her body. Don’t be shy. When you’re ready, pull yourself away from her tits. Take you’re time, I realize this is not easy but we have work to do, and they’re not going anywhere. When you get to her belly button, stick your hands under her knees, the part thats like an armpit for your leg (popliteal fossa) and spread her legs far and wide. Push her legs up if you’re a boss. Start nibbling and licking down her thighs. From your hand to the edge of her pussy. Do the other leg. Kiss and lick just outside the lips, that weird little crevice thats between her pussy and her leg. Don’t linger too long here, she will think you think that’s her pussy and begin to wonder what the fuck she’s doing here. Please don’t bite anything down there too hard. If this needs explaining, stick to masturbating to softcore.
Step 4. Touchdown.
One long lick to begin with. From her butt hole(or just above it, not everyone likes dark chocolate), over the next hole (dip in a little), through the lips, up to the tippy top. Do it again. Like you’re a dog lapping up water in slow motion. Moan and groan into it. Suck on her clit, softly. Then hard. Flick your tongue up through her lips, over her clit. Clit is important. Main objective, right there. Your boss was a cock sucker to you at work today, take it out on that little nerve filled pink pea of joy. Not to the point that your causing her to be uncomfortable, that’s not fun for her. Try and isolate the clit, and once you do, run the length of your tongue over it.
Listen to her, and react appropriately. It’s kind of like tuning an instrument. You want “Oooohhhhh.. myyyy.. god…” not “Ahh. -silence- Uhh.”
Dirty talk. Spread her lips apart with your fingers, get a few licks in there. Run your tongue through it. Never be afraid to tongue fuck her. A lot. It likes that. Keep the momentum going, don’t miss a beat. Settle down into a rhythm. And don’t pull the covers over your head, let her watch. Besides there’s nothing sexy about having to come up for air when she’s just about to cum all over your face. If you’re dealing with a particularly saucy minx, remember those 10 weapons you’ve got! Rub her clit and tongue fuck her. Lick her clit and finger fuck her! If you don’t know about the “come hither” g spot motion, and lets face it, you do. you definitely googled this before you came to me, but now this is the time to take action my son.
Always keep in mind that all girls cum for different things. So if you plan to be a stud and eat your way to fame and fortune, take extra note of both body language and sounds. Also note that the build up is just as important as the feasting.
Now go forth. GO FORTH AND EAT LIKE YOU MEAN IT.
ball-deep I hope you saved this somewhere!
PSA to every single woman out there comparing her pussy to that of porn stars..
nothing was the same
That last gif took forever to load but I’m so glad I waited
I loved this!!
I don’t reblog tattoos very often, but this is some real shit.
one of the sickest tattoos I have ever seen.
This is one of the most beautiful, well-portrayed, and original tattoos I have ever seen. I would LOVE to know the artist of this. These tattoos usually freak me out because I don’t like the way it looks like their skin is peeling but this is seriously beautiful.
This is why I love tattoos!
Wow thats amazing